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I suffered from a severe burnout for 3 years. While I "recovered" from most of the common problems like brain fog and extreme exhaustion early this year, there are still problems that lingers around after several months. From cognitive fatigue to loss of motivation and will to live, to occasional depressive cycles and forgetfulness. I hate what I used to love. I don't see a way out.

Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury to just quit or even take a well deserved break. The lack of support from family and friends, who struggle to understand what's going on with me, isn't helping either.

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Sep 13, 2023Liked by Jeff Dwyer

Your description is very similar to what I've been through these last years. As you might know, stress and burnout can lead to anxiety and depression. A common suggestion is to seek therapy and, specifically for people in tech, it might be easier to accept someone certified in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (basically, a heavily scientific type of therapy). It also helps to read something in this area, like the book "Feeling Great" by Dr. Burns. He has a DIY (not self-help) approach which really enlightens you on how you get to these dark places. In my opinion (and case), this pit is an opportunity to fix a lot of perspectives that turned your world into such a heavy grind. I am still in treatment after 2 years but feeling so much better. Hope that you can as well.

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author

Thanks Tony, Yeah, this piece has zero about preventative measures, but I think there is a ton to learn from CBT / meditation etc. It's a rant for another day that we spend 16 years in school without a single class on how to manage our brains.

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Sep 11, 2023Liked by Jeff Dwyer

The core bar concept makes me think of Byung-Chul Han's theories on burnout. Han proposes that the performative positivity and relentless pursuit of achievement that are baked into our culture drive people to burnout. Digital noise, taboos around negative experience, and compulsive activity break people down over time -- he compares it to a social auto-immune disease.

Han finds part of the solution in making room for contemplation and reflection. He finds value in the sort of idleness that makes room for these things to bloom. I often find myself wondering about the cyclical balance between achievement sprints and contemplative stillness.

I think this is why, as a manager, it's so essential to encourage your reports to take time off -- and really take it off. In my time as a manager, I also found it fruitful to carve out spaces for simmering negativity to touch open air. While taking the team out for lunch and letting everyone complain a bit might not feel immediately productive, it can serve as an important pressure valve at critical times. The social bonds between coworkers can also help sustain us through difficult stretches.

I'm curious, though -- in your theory, does the core bar ever refill once its depleted? Can a new beginning restore you, or at least boost a block or two?

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author

That's interesting. I absolutely resonate with some of that.

One thing I loved about HubSpot was that we had a yearly cadence. Everything focussed around the Inbound conference in September. The lead up was always intense, but then there was a calm after the storm, contemplating the silence, a time for thinking big things, expanding and experimenting. Then come December / January it was time to narrow down and commit to the next big push to the next conference. It was wonderful to have a rhythm across the entire company. Losing that when I moved on made it feel like a lot of small groups celebrating their wins, but less sense of a greater whole, and no time when it felt like you were truly allowed to take the time to contemplate, because you might be blocking others in a different part of the cycle.

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Sep 12, 2023Liked by Jeff Dwyer

That's such an great point. Part of having a strong community is having a shared rhythms of time.

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